What does a pirate call his bullet-proof vest??
What did the pirate pay for his new wooden leg and hook?
An Arrrrm and a leg!
So there you have it... two great jokes to get you started. Now, go find some unsuspecting victim and let 'em have it. And if you need some help, just check out this site. It's the official "Talk Like a Pirate" Day home page (did you even know there was such a thing??). Happy pirating!