Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Overwhelmed

So this morning, after rushing my boys out the door for an early morning swim practice,
I sat down with my Bible and my study (plus a not-quite-ready-to-greet-the-day furry friend),
and I opened up to Day 05 (I'm just getting started). Here's part of what I read:

"Many times I've gotten so discouraged by Satan,
my own weak flesh, or another opposing entity,
that I've finally resorted to speaking out loud the the truth of Scripture.
Audibly praying and reading Scripture is a wonderful discipline to employ,
especially when you are overwhelmed (p.28)."

Overwhelmed. Overwhelmed. Overwhelmed.

Hmmm. That one got me.

And here's why::

A few days ago, my bff sent me a few questions to answer.
You see, we're doing this study together (even though we're separated
by a couple hundred miles) with Beth Moore's summer group, and before starting,
we needed to answer a few simple questions. You know, the basic stuff
along with What do you want to get out of this study? AND, in a word,
describe this season of your life.
Immediately, I responded.... overwhelmed!
(and felt quite sure this was the BEST and most appropriate choice for now)

Why overwhelmed? Because that's what I am.
Even though it's summer, and
even though I'm supposed to be relaxing,
I'm not.
I'm stressing over my mile-long to-do list and the calendar that's racing by,
and I'm having trouble-- very real and heart-thumping trouble--
because I simply cannot see the forest for the trees.
Yes, I'm overwhelmed, and for many days now I've been lamenting that fact.

So back to this morning. I finished my lesson
and hopped out back for some garden time before my littlest two awaken
[with no rain over the past several weeks and temps reaching the mid-90s,
watering my gardens has turned into a non-negotiable daily chore],
and with my iPod attached to my hip (because I agreed with the author--
what I needed now was a ginormous dose of Scripture...
in my ear, to my heart, over and over and over again),
I set forth.
I toted jug after jug after jug of water,
and I enjoyed a few Holy Spirit-inspired dances along the way
(thankfully, we have a privacy fence :)
and then an old favorite came on and... BAM!
It stopped me, dead in my tracks.
Because the Lord had spoken.
Through these words-- through His Word--
I got the message, just as He intended.

Give me one pure and holy passion.
Give me one magnificent obsession.
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You...

To know and follow hard after You
To grow as Your disciple in Your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing You, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after You
Lead me on and I will run after You

-- Mark Altrogge


How 'bout that?!!

Meant for me? Yes.
Today? Yes.
Did I listen? Yes.
And did I get it? Yes.

And then I thanked Him for His gracious reminders and changed my tune.

So... history plans? Yes, they're important.
Those 3000 pages on the 20th century in review? I'll try.
A new paint color in my bedroom? Sure, it would be nice.
Veggie and flower bed survival? Oh, I hope so.
New recipes and adventures and bread and more? Perhaps... and hopefully.

But when it's all said and done, what matters most?
How should I really spend my spare time, my energies, and my attentions?
And what do I want to teach my children, even during these lazy days of summer?

To know and follow hard after You,
and to grow as Your disciple in Your truth...
Lead me on, and I will run after you.

So today, I'm resubmitting my answer.
No longer overwhelmed.
Today, I'm set free.
Free to be faithful and obedient and grace-filled and more...
because He who started this good work in me will be faithful to complete it.
All I need do is follow.

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple.

Psalm 27:4


5 comments:

gretchen said...

OH MY FRIEND! You hit the nail on the head... I praise God that HIS mercies are new. EVERY. MORNING. I look forward to having my time... reading my lesson for today and be set free... cuz not only did I lose my Bible - this morning it was J's goggles! ACK! Set free to be overwhelmed no more - or at least for a while. LOL. So glad the Lord spoke to you this morning... enjoy the cool down to come and you can be expecting some more calls from me soon. :) Thanks for praying... and you're in mine too! LOVE YOU TONS!

Carrie said...

I am so with you here, Heather! I have been more overwhelmed this summer! Your post is so timely as I'm supposed to start a three week "refocusing" next week ... a time set aside to focus on Him. I've been looking for a study, and I just might have to go out and get that book on Ruth!

Thanks so much for sharing your heart - your blog is always a blessing in my life, and I thank God for our blogging-friendship!

Christine said...

Ah, yes. overwhelmed. A place where I find myself all too often. One thing God has been reminding me this week is that we are not only His bride, but also we are to be dressed in His armor for the battle--the daily battle that the enemy is waging against us. So we are a warrior bride -- strong and beautiful, always depending on Him for our JOY and STRENGTH. He has given us everything we need to face today. It's frustrating that I lose sight of Him so often.

I'm praying for you, dear one. Thanks for being so honest. You are not alone in your struggle.

Linda said...

Oh Heather, this is so beautiful. Your words just minister to me. I've felt the same way - as though I'm always running to catch up with myself. I have been longing for a more peaceful attitude - to be able to walk slowly through the day and savor the moments.
I'm doing the same study - all by myself. I'm a bit behind, but I'm enjoying it. My word was sandwiched. I feel a bit caught between caring for elderly parents and all the cares of the rest of my family. I think I like free a lot better.

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