Thursday, December 2, 2010

These days I'm struggling...

Struggling to find that groove again... that pre-holiday routine that actually allowed us to get
our school work done in a timely manner.

Struggling to get my Christmas decorations out of the attic when everything in me screams that it. is. not. time. to. decorate. for Christmas. It's only July after all... isn't it??

Struggling to accept the fact that fall has gone (for all intents & purposes) and the brutal, bone-chilling days of winter are upon us. I soooooo want the 70s (degrees, I mean :) back!

Struggling to keep up with Mt. Laundry... when will some brilliant scientist invent self-washing clothes??

Struggling to keep *healthy* meals on the table when Ramen noodles are such an easy & painless choice :)

Struggling to study my way through evil dictatorships, a Nazi regime, and unending brutality, misery, and suffering. Why, O Lord, why??

Struggling to rejoice in all things... even in *my* (relatively pitiful... as compared to those in the note above) sufferings.

Struggling in the day to day battle of less-of-me and more-of-Him... struggling to die to self.

Struggling to see the good instead of nitpicking on the not-so-pretty; struggling to offer grace at all times~

Struggling to filter the good from the best.
The eternal from the transient.
The holy from the rest.


And yet still... still my God reigns. Still He loves. Still He holds and helps and offers Hope and Light and Grace, even though so incredibly undeserving am I. Still He nudges me on, pressing me towards the Goal, one itty-bitty baby step at a time.

Yes, these past few days have been tough. But the Good News... His love conquers all. And in Him, there's peace. Perfect peace.

I think it's time I stake my claim!

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings,
because we know that suffering produces perseverance,
perseverance, character,
and character, hope.
And hope does not put us to shame,
because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit,
who has been given to us."

Romans 5: 3-5

And for my fellow music lovers... one of my favorites. It's ministered greatly to me these past few days~ enjoy!


Carrie said...

LOVE the JJ Heller song!

{{{HUGS}}} to you, my friend! I've been struggling, too!

I have been loving the Isaiah study in BSF this year. The last few weeks we've studied a lot of judgment on wicked nations. Part of the hope we have is that God WILL judge. He WILL make it right ... in His way, and in His time. For me, I have found so much comfort in "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay." In the meantime, He has asked me to love ... even my enemies and those who seek to hurt or even kill me. How hard that is!

Prayers for peace to reign in your heart today, Heather! Love ya!

gretchen said...

I've been praying for you... sounds like the struggle is the theme for many around this time... including me... especially yesterday. but breathe - because our God is greater - thankfully, greater than us... He who holds the world in His hands - holds our days, our laundry, the dishes, the dinners, the children, the husbands, the schedules, and also us in His hands. And He holds us as if we were the only thing He had to hold. Giving us His undivided attention... Love you, friend... c'mon down for some brownies and ice cream. We'll chat for a good long time. :)

Linda said...

I think we all have seasons when everything seems to pile up at once and land with a thud on our shoulders. It's hard to see the way out, but I know that He wants to take that terrible weight off of us and give us His peace.
I pray that your days will sort themselves out and that you will have time to rest in the joy and peace of this lovely season.
I wonder if just taking a day off to do something fun would help? Go have those brownies and ice cream Gretchen offered :-)

Christine said...

You are not alone. I have been struggling too... but it is not surprising, for what else would the enemy want to steal from us this season, but our joy? The joy of remembering that He came and rescued us.
Isaiah 55 encouraged me today... perhaps it will do the same for you.
Praying for you, dear one, to feel the presence of the Prince of Peace in the middle of the messiness of life.

Kellie said...

That's one of my favorite songs -- I've listened to it several times this week already. Maybe God's trying to tell me something. : )

You're struggles are all too familiar, and it's so comforting to be reminded of His promises in that Romans passage. I love your constant focus on Him; your writing is such an encouragement to me. And so are your followers -- the comments on this post are so full of truth.