The waning days of summer

Three days ago, my eldest son boarded a plane for Colorado. The night before had been filled with packing & organizing & re-packing & chatting about the week to come, so when the clock blared loud at 3:15 a.m. (who flies out at 5:30 anyway??!), his demeanor was tinged with both excitement and exhaustion, anticipation and... hope.

Several hours later, he landed in Colorado Springs with a few of his fellow teammates, and from there they made the short jaunt to the Olympic Training Center where they're working hard this week, training for a dream.

Parenting truly is bittersweet.  On the one hand, children are supposed to grow up! God designed them that way, after all, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But when I watched my oldest babe stroll out the door-- suitcase in hand, adventure on face-- the tumult churned anew. Because the big girl in me was jumping up and down, cheering for all to hear... here comes my boy, and I am so, SO proud. But deep down inside, where no one but the Lord could see, a terrible ache spread slow... because my son is growing up.  All too quickly... growing up.

Thankfully, we live in the modern era.  Praise God for cell phones-- he called!-- and we talked long, and oh, how I rejoice in the gifts of the Lord!!

As we await his return, we pack and play and run and swim-- anxious for summer's last hoorah.  Back to the beach we go (as soon as we pick up our sure-to-be weary traveler from the airport), back to the glorious expanse... where earth meets sky, and the heavens truly declare His glory!

There are days when I wish summer would linger forever-- days on the sand, days that move slow.  But then I remember the beauty of seasonal change-- my favorite being next in line-- and I breathe deep the provision of the Father.

Taste and see that the LORD is good;

blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.

Psalm 34:8

The end of an era

Tonight, just before tucking Big Man in to bed, he politely informed me that it's time to switch up his bedtime routine. Instead of praying AND singing together, we now only need to pray. The song is no longer needed..."because I'm big now."

"Ok, sure honey." Smile. Hug. Shiver.

Because my little boy is growing up, and that's not always an easy pill to swallow...

"There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens..."

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Bittersweet

Today, we took down the crib and put it away... probably for the very last time. Lollipop was thrilled to finally have a new big girl bed, but for me, it was an emotional transaction. I slept in that bed many, many years ago, as did my younger brother... and all four of my kiddos have found sweet, sweet rest therein. Putting it away sorta feels like the end of an era.

As for what tomorrow will bring, I certainly don't know. Surely the Lord has prepared new adventures for our horizon. With exciting possibilities and thrilling dreams and special plans filled with wild imaginations.

But still my heart longs for these days to remain. For my littles to stay little. For their squeaky voices to stay squeaky. For their tiny shoes to stay tiny. For their tender hearts to stay here... at home...with me.

Still, I know that's not the Lord's design.

And His designs-- His ways-- are always best.

So in them I find peace. And rest. And hope.

And then I thank Almighty God for the wonderful gift of motherhood.

Lessons I'm learning

*** Fresh flowers will always make me smile.

*** Grass really is much nicer than mud.

*** Giving up sweet tea is much, much harder than I thought.

*** Healthy living is work. Hard work. And some days, I simply don't succeed. Because a modest portion of pasta doesn't satisfy... because a mammoth glass of water is simply NOT what I want... because the carton of Breyer's mint chocolate chip ice cream is screaming my name. No, establishing healthier eating habits is going to be hard. Very, very hard.

*** No matter how thoroughly I prepare for the day, things never go just like I planned. In fact, I'd say Murphy's Law is alive and well (and on some days actually thriving) in our home.

*** Making homemade chicken soup, stock and all, is not nearly as difficult as I once imagined. I tried my first batch this past week and my children rejoiced (how's that for a treat :). Looks like we found another winter staple.

*** I really don't care for business that calls my husband out of town. I wish he was home every single night.

*** Helping a child learn to read... learn to explore God's creation through the written word... is truly a wondrous gift (and one of the most fantastic adventures I've ever known).

*** Even though the laundry is piled three feet high and my to-do list is growing by the hour...even though my kitchen is a mess and my family room looks like a hazard zone... this gift of motherhood is one I wouldn't trade for the world.

*** A foot race between an active two-year old and an extremely athletic five-year old is NEVER a fair match.

*** Puppy kisses are like salve to the soul.

*** The power of forgiveness is an amazing thing.

*** Parenting a thriving two-year old daughter is a whole new ball game. In a word... DRAMA!!

*** There's never too much pink. And there are never too many outfits in any given day. Change... apparently... is good.

*** Evidently... somewhere... there exists an unwritten rule which clearly states that 11-year old boys and their mothers will very, very rarely agree on anything fashion-related. And... evidently... that rule is being followed out to the T in our house! Our current struggle: hair. His. Our compromise: as long as it's clean, I'm good (though I'm spending many, many minutes with my lips pressed tightly shut, or close to it, as I hope beyond hope beyond hope he'll reconsider the meaning of the word, "cool.")

*** Priorities... sifting the good from the best-- and doing it with a joyful heart-- is tough.

Just recently, I was reminded by Priscilla Shirer

(in her book And We Are Changed) that

"...our spiritual enemy, Satan,

wants us to be so busy working for the Lord that we miss out on what matters most:

our relationship with the Lord.

The temptation of wrong priorities is high on the devil's list.

In fact, I am certain this is Satan's biggest attack

on those who desire to live the victorious Christian life."

Yikes. But oh-so-true.

So, priorities... it's becoming apparent to me that I might need to lay a few things down...

I might need to scratch one or two (or a gazillion) things

off my overflowing daily docket in order to carve out that precious Lord-time.

(Remember this post? Yea, I'm still working on it~)

"What He may ask you to give up will be different from what He has required of me.

Your responsibility is simply to respond to the conviction of the Holy Spirit in your life.

What is He asking you to put aside for His sake?

Don't let your personal schedule and tasks

override the real reason you were put on this earth--

fellowship with the Father, found by living in obedience to Him.

There is nothing wrong with earthly things having their place;

just make sure it's second place."

But oh, it doesn't stop there!

No, once the priorities are in place, then it's on to ATTITUDE.

And I know for me, that's oftentimes a much more difficult step in the process.

"The Lord does not want our service unless we are going to do it unto Him.

Do you complain about the ministry you serve in at the church?

Do you complain about your role as wife?

Do you complain about your role as mother?

We need to be reminded that our service is not for those physical beings

such as our boss or spouse.

Our service should be done with a joyful attitude unto the Lord.

He notices our efforts and appreciates our work, even when others do not.

The Bible says in 1 Peter 4:8-9,

"Above all, love each other deeply,

because love covers a multitude of sins.

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling."

Here's the secret to serving with the right attitude:

take your eyes off the physical people you are serving,

and place your eyes solely on the One whom you must ultimately serve...

Sometimes your husband will appreciate you, and sometimes he will not.

Sometimes your children will thank you, but many times they will not.

Sometimes people in your life will applaud your efforts, and sometimes they won't.

When you find that a spirit of complaining is overtaking you

in what the Lord has called you to do, take a personal inventory.

Whose praise are you attempting to receive?

Who are you trying to impress with your labor?

Could you have forgotten that all of your work is for the Most High God?" (pp 56-59)

I don't think I can ever hear that reminder enough.

*** Even though flawed and failure-ridden, selfish and sinful, Jesus. loves. me.

And that's all I really need to know.

We find freedom in life only when we seek the Lord with all of our might,

no matter what it costs us...

--Priscilla Shirer

Sometimes, being a mom stinks.

It stinks when I lose my patience with my little people and raise my voice unnecessarily.

It stinks when I lose my temper and react poorly instead of walking away for a count to ten.

It stinks when laziness prevails instead of a willingness to toss the baseball one more time.

It stinks when I allow selfishness to guide my decision-making instead of self-less-ness.

It stinks when my children-- my blessed gifts from God above-- are adversely effected by my poor choices.

It stinks when I take my very excited four-year old son to the dentist for the very first time and learn he has a small cavity in his upper right molar. Why?? Because his momma didn't take better care of his teeth.

And I know better! That's what hurts so badly. My parents have instilled in me from Day 1 the need to take extra special care of my pearly whites. Back in the day, both my brother and I had layers of sealant applied to our molars (for extra protection), and already both my older boys have undergone a similar application to prevent this very thing from happening. And so far, so good. But when it comes to Big Man's teeth, which have surely developed in a like manner (with those super deep crevices) and which will surely require extra protection, I dropped the ball...

You know, consequences are tough. They're just no fun. But oftentimes, we deserve what we get. As I tearfully explained the situation to my two oldest, I used this example-- if they slack off at swim practice for days on end and then bomb their next meet, who's to blame?? They are, of course. They didn't work hard; they didn't adequately prepare. They pay the price.

In this scenario, however, my Big Man is not to blame. It's not his fault that next Thursday, bright and early, he'll return to the dentist's office to face a needle and a drill so that Dr. T can fix what I broke. And that. just. stinks.

Being a mom is so hard. It's hard under the best of circumstances. But it's even harder when I mess up. It's heart-breaking for me to consider-- the fact that my mistakes, my poor choices... my sins... affect my littles in ways I'd never choose. That my childern should suffer because of me. Well... that's a hard pill to swallow.

As for Big Man-- yes, they're just baby teeth. And yes, they'll eventually fall out anyway. But that's not the point. Because of my negligence, because of my neglect, my four-year old tyke is going to suffer the consequences. He'll struggle under the discomfort of the process, and that kills me. Four years old... I screwed up.

And that stinks. Big time.

It's hard being a mom.

But you know what I'm finally coming to realize?? You know what I've known all this time, but am just now beginning to accept?? You know what makes this ugly blot of a day a little bit brighter?? The fact that I'm forgiven. And free. And tomorrow I get to try again. The blood of Christ covers a multitude of sins... and grace abounds all the more.

"So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.

He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom

with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.

He has showered his kindness on us,

along with all wisdom and understanding."

Ephesians 1:6-8

Yes, being a mom is tough-- it's the toughest job I'll ever do. But even when I screw up, even when I fall short of my calling, four little faces still love me. And my God loves me all the more. Now that's something to celebrate.

Happy Mother's Day!

You know, so often I take life for granted-- a wonderful husband; beautiful, healthy children; a comfortable home; the privilege of spending every day with my babes... of educating them and exposing them to all things noble and good; a loving family, 4 fabulous grandparents... oh, the list goes on and on.

But today-- Mother's Day-- I'm reminded... I. am. so. rich! God has bestowed on this very undeserving gal

life's greatest treasures...

Today, those very treasures spoiled me rotten w/

a delicious breakfast in bed, a beautiful serenade (Bub wrote a special Mother's Day song just for me :), handmade cards from each of the boys, thoughtful gifts... wrapped in toilet paper (I can only assume they didn't know where I keep the tissue paper?? Thankfully, it was clean~), a little Star Wars on the XBox (I'm not sure they really wanted me to play-- it just sounded like a good idea since it was my special day :), an awesome cookout, a leisurely stroll through Old Town and a few chocolate milk shakes to top off the day. Whew, I'm tired, but oh-so-content.

Yes, being a mom is truly the greatest joy of my life. Children-- my children-- are, simply put... the best!

Oh, I neglected to mention their lovely artwork... you see, while Chris was grilling steaks in the backyard, I followed my littles out front and watched them decorate the drive way. Here's a peak :)

(When I asked Bub why "rocks" was spelled "roks," he casually informed me that that's how "they" do it... as he enthusiastically strummed his air guitar... ???)

Precious. Truly.

Ok... so my Mother's Day rocked, and I hope yours did, too! Before I wrap this up, though, and head off to bed, I'd kick myself later if I ignored here (in this specific post, so creatively titled, "Happy Mother's Day!") the two very special women in my life who have influenced me more than any other:

Mom, you are my greatest role model and my inspiration. Thank you for modeling for me, every single day, the love of Christ... sacrificial love... pure and unadulterated... flowing from a heart that knows no limits. You are truly heaven-sent.

And Moggie-- you raised one heck of a guy! Thank you for sharing him with me~ You have been like a second mother to me and a best friend, too. You have encouraged me and you have helped me; you have loved me all these years, and for that, I thank you~

I love you both immensely! Happy Mother's Day~

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

~Washington Irving

Motherhood

The days are passing all too quickly... and my little people are growing up.   There are so many things they say and do on a regular basis-- I simply do not want to forget!  So, I decided to jot some of them down to help me remember:

Big Man has absolutely no concept of time.  He's always asking, "When is tomorrow?" or "Is it tomorrow yet?" And just the other day he asked me if, after completing Mrs. Rouse's (4 year old preschool) class, he'd be going on to college :)

When Lolipop calls from her crib, ready to start her day (or even ready to rise from her afternoon nap), Bub and Noh-man race to her room because they both want to see her first... every single time.

Whenever Lolli sees someone she recognizes-- someone special to her-- her little face lights up like the northern stars. And each night, when her daddy and her brothers walk through the front door, home from swim practice, she claps her hands with joy!

Noh-man, so completely unaffected by the cares and fashions of this world, quite often heads outside to play in an outfit such as this: a red t-shirt, royal blue & yellow athletic shorts, tan "church" socks, and white Nikes... a real fashion hound, no doubt!

My big, big Bub-- my firstborn son-- still willingly (and gladly!) shares a hug with me-- a big, Bub-sized squeeze-- and he even asks to share prayers together before bed :)

Spontaneously (and throughout the day), Big Man sneaks up to my side and softly whispers, "I love you, mama."

At night, when we read aloud a book in bed, all three boys still choose to snuggle with their mommy (unless, of course, Big Man is still heavily entrenched in lego warfare on the floor... sometimes, that must take priority.  Grin. :)

By the time Noh-man comes downstairs in the morning, he usually finds me at my computer. And on most occasions, he slowly strolls over to where I'm sitting and then wraps his arms around me in the sweetest embrace...

Angels We Have Heard on High ("Angels") is Big Man's favorite song, and we sing it every night before bed.

Lolli "talks" all the time, as she almost always has something to say!  She babbles and giggles and goggles and gaggles, and she scrunches up her nose in the most delicious way whenever she laughs.

Big Man calls ravioli, "rabioli," and "disgusting," "e-scusting."  Sure I should help him pronounce them correctly, but it's just too sweet, and I know in time he'll figure it out.

Even though we disagree with the President of the United States on oh-so-many levels, my two oldest sons-- ages 8 & 10-- pray faithfully for him every. single. night.  For his family's safety, for wise choices, and for a changed heart.

Big Man can never remember the last line of the poem, "One, Two, Buckle My Shoe."  His version: "One, two, buckle my shoe. Three, four, shut the door. Five, six, pick up sticks. Seven, eight, lay them straight. Nine, ten, a big fat bird."  And it makes me smile every time :)

Noh-man takes his swimming very seriously.  And he likes to be early for practice.  Very early, in fact; it's his way of being prepared :)  At times this frustrates me as I'm still trying to wrap up a thing or two before we head out the door. But then I catch myself as I'm reminded of his dedication and his commitment to excellence... and I realize... I wouldn't change a thing.

Bub, on the other hand, while completely committed to his sport, would rather squeak out an extra five minutes with his video game rather than leave the house early :)

Lollipop loves tomatoes... diced roma tomatoes, to be more precise. Her brothers won't touch them and her daddy doesn't do much better, but offer her half a tomato at snack time and she'll slam it down!  It's absolutely the craziest thing~

When I ask Big Man to run to Lolli's room to fetch her tights, he asks, "You mean her big socks??"

My three boys shower their little sister with love and affection all. the. time.  They never complain when I ask them to watch out for her and they never grumble when she needs their help.  Instead, they bask in the privilege of being the one in charge and they jump at the chance to be her chosen companion.  Having the opportunity to witness their selfless behavior on a very regular basis... having the opportunity to spend each and every day with them... is absolutely, without a doubt, one of the greatest joys of my life (thank you, Chris, for allowing it to happen!).  My children truly are a gift from the LORD, and I'm blessed beyond measure to share my days with them~ 

So there you have it--- a few of my favorite things!  I know there are oodles more, and perhaps one day soon I'll post Motherhood: Volume 2, but for now, I'll just cherish my kiddos and our time together~

Risk

For the past several days I've been reading through the Old Testament book, Joshua.  I've really enjoyed working through this book again as new life lessons crop up daily.  In my study this morning, for instance, something occurred to me that I've never once considered before... at least not in these terms.

First, let me briefly set the stage.  The Israelites have just conquered Jericho according to the LORD's directions; victory is theirs. The city has been burned along with everything in it; only Rahab and her family have been spared.  Joshua then issues the following warning (ch 6, verse 26):

"At that time Joshua pronounced this solemn oath: 'Cursed before the LORD is the man who undertakes to rebuild this city, Jericho:

 At the cost of his firstborn son will he lay its foundations;

at the cost of his youngest will he set up its gates.' " 

Oh. my.  That's a serious admonition.  God did not want His people anywhere near the fallen city or its remains; they were to stay far, far away.  "Cursed before the LORD is the man..."

So back in my study guide, the author's note-- our present day application-- reads as follows:

"We risk our children... each day we try to build our lives in step with a society that honors wealth, sexual perversion, and selfish ambition above service to our King, the LORD Jesus Christ.  We need to step to a different heartbeat... our hearts must pant for His will (emphasis mine)."

Yikes.  "We risk our children..."

... every time we make choices that do not align with the sovereign will of  God. 

... every time worldly desires dictate our choices. 

... every time selfishness motivates our actions.... we risk our children.  

Now that sheds a whole new light on the way I live my daily life. 

Good medicine

When the worries of the world threaten to overwhelm...

When your to-do list never seems to get any shorter, only longer...

When the sight of another dirty dish sends you running for the door...

When Mt. Laundry no longer looks like a mountain but instead more closely resembles a laundry room explosion....

When you begin to wonder if you'll ever see the top of your dining room table again (or have those piles of clean clothes become a permanent fixture?)...

When your children almost convince you that apple pie really is an acceptable breakfast food...

When your 4-year old, who is supposed to be upstairs in his bedroom with a few toys, is actually hanging out in the kitchen with a very large bowl of left-over candy...

When, for the life of you, you cannot come up with a single thing to cook for dinner, and your other 2 boys are acting as if they haven't eaten in days (remember, no worries for your youngest little man-- he's just polished off half a bowl of sugary treats)...

When your children remind you that Thanksgiving is "just around the corner," and the realization finally hits that Christmas is less than 8 weeks away (yikes!)...

When you miss your furry companion (of 11 years) so much, it almost hurts...

And when the mere thought of an Obama, Pelosi, Reid triumvirate sends you in to such a tailspin that your husband has to seriously ask, "Are you ok?"...

 

Pray.  Seek the LORD and His Peace that passes all understanding.

And then, after you've met with Him...

Grab a friend and laugh~

it's so very good for the soul!

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones."

Proverbs 17:22

My reality check

Here's a quote that's got me thinking (and let me warn you, it's a tough one):

"My children, my precious darling children!

What I want you to become, I must become myself."

-- Elizabeth Prentiss

Yikes.  Did you catch that??  "What I want [my children] to become, I must become myself."  I think Ms. Prentiss hit the nail on the head.

I'm embarrassed to say that my reality is far from this ideal.  What my children see in me on a fairly regular basis in not what I want for them.  Instead of showering them with the love of Christ, I too frequently model for them a life overcome with the distractions of this world.  All too often I get so caught up in correcting their speech and their motives and their behavior that I fail to see the areas in my own life-- the real heart issues-- that are in such desperate need of repair.  That's a big, big problem.

If I want the very best for my children, then they need to see the very best in me.  And that's what I want: souls set free by the power of the Cross, hearts fully surrendered to the Lord, and minds renewed by His Spirit... Lives, ready and willing to be used by God for His greater purpose and glory.  My children need to see these things in me.  Every day.  In the good and in the bad... a mom whose love for her Lord motivates everything she does.  It's time to set aside the cares of this world and focus on the eternal... there's just nothing that matters more.

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in [me] will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

Philippians 1:6